On March 13, 2016 my life changed. It changed forever and not in the kind of way I would ever wish on a person. My dear daughter, Selena died of a drug overdose while she was in treatment. I woke up to my mother knocking on my door. I was dead asleep! I heard banging that I could only equate to police banging on my door. To be honest I was sitting in my bed in silence frozen for a few minutes halfway expecting for the door to be bashed in and police to be everywhere. That is not what happened. I heard my phone ringing, the doorbell ringing and knocking all at the same time. I quickly realized it was my mom and something must be very wrong. I opened the door only to see in her eyes that something was absolutely wrong! Her mouth opened and out came the words a mother never wants to hear. “Selena is dead Louise”….
How could this be. How could my reason for living be gone. It has been months now. I have cried. I have slept. I have worked with no breaks trying not to even think of her. I fall to pieces every time I think of her. Every time I see a picture. I feel empty inside as if everything I ever cared about has been removed from my heart. I keep on though. I don’t know what else to do. I have worked in harm reduction for a decade. I help people who are in dangerous situations prevent harm to theirselves. How could this be rings over and over in my head! Why? How? What the Fuck?
I must admit, I feel a little picked on. Its been a rough couple of years. I lost my leg due to a hit and run I was in a few years back. I thought I would never make it through those dark times. When I was ready to give up it was only Selena that stopped me from ending my own life. Now here I am lost without the girl who meant everything to me. Lost. Wishing I had more time. Damn it Selena I miss you so much it is so painful.
We are having an event on August 11, 2016 to celebrate life and to remember those lost to overdose. I am working hard to plan this event….keep my mind on something that can help folks. Please come out and spend some time with us. Help share a harm reduction message of hope.
August 11, 2016—-Castle Mc Culloch, Jamestown, NC
6:30-11:00pm
Music
Harm Reduction Speakers including Maia Szalavitz author of Unbroken Brain.
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