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On March 13, 2016 my life changed.  It changed forever and not in the kind of way I would ever wish on a person.  My dear daughter, Selena died of a drug overdose while she was in treatment.  I woke up to my mother knocking on my door.  I was dead asleep!  I heard banging that I could only equate to police banging on my door.  To be honest I was sitting in my bed in silence frozen for a few minutes halfway expecting for the door to be bashed in and police to be everywhere.  That is not what happened.  I heard my phone ringing, the doorbell ringing and knocking all at the same time.  I quickly realized it was my mom and something must be very wrong.  I opened the door only to see in her eyes that something was absolutely wrong! Her mouth opened and out came the words a mother never wants to hear.  “Selena is dead Louise”….

How could this be.  How could my reason for living be gone.  It has been months now.  I have cried.  I have slept.  I have worked with no breaks trying not to even think of her.  I fall to pieces every time I think of her.  Every time I see a picture.  I feel empty inside as if everything I ever cared about has been removed from my heart.  I keep on though.  I don’t know what else to do.  I have  worked in harm reduction for a decade.  I help people who are in dangerous situations prevent harm to theirselves.  How could this be rings over and over in my head!  Why?  How? What the Fuck?

I must admit, I feel a little picked on. Its been a rough couple of years.  I lost my leg due to a hit and run I was in a few years back.  I thought I would never make it through those dark times.  When I was ready to give up it was only Selena that stopped me from ending my own life.  Now here I am lost without the girl who meant everything to me.  Lost.  Wishing I had more time.  Damn it Selena I miss you so much it is so painful.

We are having an event on August 11, 2016 to celebrate life and to remember those lost to overdose.  I am working hard to plan this event….keep my mind on something that can help folks.  Please come out and spend some time with us. Help share a harm reduction message of hope.

August 11, 2016—-Castle Mc Culloch, Jamestown, NC



Harm Reduction Speakers including Maia Szalavitz author of Unbroken Brain.

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